Pearl lives alone in a tidy semi-detached house in a small village in the West Country. The walls of her home are covered with photos of her family: her four children, eleven grandchildren, and her husband who died three years ago, 53 years after they married. 

 I had my bubble burst this week, a bit, about eternal youth.  I have a cataract coming on.  I'm 82 in May.  Yeah.  I mean, I had my MOT.  Bodywise, fine - you know - cholesterol, blood pressure, blah, blah.  Went - two and half years since I'd had my eyes tested, and I thought, God, better go and do it - went in, knowing what I wanted, you know, frames, distance without bifocals and sunglasses - BANG - my eye's deteriorated. Apparently it’s simple. Is it a laser thing?  I'm with a lady tomorrow, they're always younger than me, she's had both eyes done, I'll have a chat with her.  

 - Age.  It's all in there, innit. (points at her head).  It's all in there, duck.  I had a very good sex life. And I knew I was…  We loved each other right up to the end.  I mean, even though he was so ill, he'd say to me:  ‘Have I told you that I loved you today?’ And I'd say, ‘Yeah, I think you did earlier on.’  ‘I'm saying it again.’ 

He was ... ah, it’s  three years ... I was trying to … It was the day after Lucy's birthday, and her birthday's next Monday, I think.  The day after will be three years.  Seems  longer, yet it seems like yesterday, you know.  OK, so it's all in there, duck.  But I talked to myself in the mirror, I did, after Stephen went, after he'd gone over, I looked at myself in the mirror, and I said,  ‘Right, now, woman, this is not just today,  this is the rest of your life, sort yourself out!’  Well you have to, don't you.  It’s no good me going round saying,  ‘Oooh, I'm a poor delicate little thing!’  I mean I got a good family.  I was out with them last night.  We out to Elmfield School, to their Blues evening, it was very good, because Jessie was playing her xylophone, we sat at tables and we had this mulled wine. It was horrible, it made your mouth screw up like a chicken's bum, you know, God, it was really sharp. It was free, well I guess we paid for it with our ticket, that was only three quid. 

I was always going to marry a rich man.  I married a poor man for love.  I had £100  and he had £25, which he spent on that ring.  That was all he had in the post office, right. I'll always remember that he said,  ‘We'll never be any poorer.’  And he worked hard.  That's my favourite picture up there.  That's my favourite.  That's us. That was us.  Our wedding picture is up there on the wall. Yeah, black and white. 1951. He became ill when he was 61 and he managed to survive until he was seventy six.  There you go.  Yeah, that's always my favourite.  Just us. On the beach. That was down in Devon somewhere. 

Stephen was wonderful.  He was a great believer in keeping things alive.   

Well, I was born in Kent and I lived there until I was 15. And I was 14 when the war broke out right, and Dad had got invalided off to sea at that point, ‘cause I remember he went to Skegness as an instructor, so Mum obviously wanted to go and live where he was, and so we packed up the house which was Grandmother’s house that we lived in.  Oh my childhood was … we don’t talk about that  - well, Dad and Grandmother were always daggers drawn.  Anyway, we boarded up Grandmother’s house and he rented this house in Skegness and we went up there. And I was about 15 and a half, and I’d left school at 14 and I’d just got a job training as a hairdresser, which I’d wanted to do. ‘Course, I had to pack all that in because I was too young to be left behind, because it was right in, you know, the fighting zone, wasn’t it, at that point. So little Pearl had to go where she was told. And I think I was out of work for several weeks and then Mum said,  ‘We can’t afford to keep you, you’ll have to find something.’ So I hunted around and I had to go and work in Woolworth’s.  To me that was the end of the world! Working in Woolworth’s! The lowest of the low!  But I was a junior supervisor by the time I left that.  In the meantime I volunteered for the WRENS, the Women’s Royal Naval Service, I’ll show you a picture in a minute, and at 17 and a half I left home and went for three and a half years. “Join the Navy, free a man to do his duty.” That was a joke on my part. I used to have all the men in doing my dirty work! I was only a Steward because my schooling was quite lowly, I had no school certificates and that, but I had, I was in charge of a Chiefs' and PO’s mess with a couple of other WRENS, you know, looking after their meals on time blah blah, it was quite good fun - I used to skive off (laughs). We had a little chief-petty-officer in charge of us who’d been in the first world war – you should have seen her, she was an old battleaxe! If she knew half of what I was doing! The chief Buffer, as you’d call him, used to come round and say, ‘Who’s on duty?’ and I’d say, ’ Me Chief, me Chief!’ And he’d say ‘Right, I’ll send my Gash Hands.’ That’s people who’re on Jankers, that’s people who’ve done things wrong and are being punished by doing different work. They used to come around and do all my clearing up and stuff like that and I used to skive off. Terrible! Wicked! 

So I did that for three and a half years and so I was, I was almost 21, wasn’t I, when I was demobbed. Teenage was gone, right? But I had a good ... relationship–wise in that period, but no sex. I made a pact with myself; you do not go the whole hog until it’s the right one. And I was 25, duck, when I lost my virginity. 

We didn’t talk about sex, didn’t talk about it. In my younger years, you know, it wasn’t talked about. You just picked up bits through talking to your friends at school. Ok, maybe I might say something to Mum,  ‘Is that right?’  And she might say, ‘Oh yeah, that’s right.’  And that was all you got.  It was never discussed, so you ... well, I was always half afraid, you know, and I felt sure if I did it I’d become pregnant the first time, I always had that feeling, so I never did it, I mean, never did it. And Stephen couldn’t believe it, that he had a virgin when I walked up the aisle. 

He'd just got the sack when I met him. We met at a party. I had to find a job when I came home, when I was demobbed, of course the hair dressing thing had gone out the window so I went to work in the local International shop. Right? Once again I was a bit…and he had a cousin that used to come in, that was one of the customers and I got friendly with her and, I didn’t know Stephen then, and she said,  ‘I’m having a party,’ it was New Year’s Eve, ‘at the house.’  They had parties at home in those days. ‘Would you like to come?’   And of course Stephen was there, and the girl I worked with at the shop had seen him and she said, ‘Oh you won’t like him. He’s a great fat slob!’ I said,  ‘I’ll find out for myself.’  He was a bit tubby in those days, I think.  But, we played games, and you had jelly and blancmange and stuff like that. And I couldn’t find anywhere to sit, I was sitting on the edge of the bath, and he came up with a dish of jelly and blancmange for me – the start of it all. But we played a game - I can’t remember, I suppose you had music on and then you stopped as statues and turned and kissed the person that was nearest to you - and it was Stephen, and when he kissed me: wow!  My knees went (makes sound of explosion) like that!  That was it. That was it. And he didn’t say anything.  I had ordered a taxi with another friend to get home. The taxi was just going and he ran out and shouted,  ‘I’ll see you tonight at half past seven at The Eastfield Hall.’  That was a hall that we used to go to for dancing, and it was a Sunday night, so they had a talent competition and he was a good singer, he went up and sang. I can’t remember what it was now. I used to play the piano for him. We used to go and do it in old people’s homes down in Hythe at one time. I think he won a kettle that night. So that was part of our bond (laughs). Yeah, there was a gang of us, you used to go around in sort of gangs, didn’t you, in those days. He turned up late. He was the first one I ever waited for. Half an hour. He turned up late with his friend, Eric, because he said to him,  ‘Oh she won’t turn up.’ But she did, didn’t she. That was how it started, at a party. All right? 

We were together 3 years before we got married, and he was very, very patient. We talked about it and we used to ok, go so far and then, (claps) BOOM, like that! He was so thoughtful, he was, yeah.  He respected the  fact that I, you know, that I felt like that. No, he was really wonderful over that. Ok, he’d had lots of women, should I say, but I’m pretty sure he never … Carol (their daughter) used to laugh and say,  ‘Oh he’s got bambinos all over the place!’  From when he was in the Navy.   But I believed him, I don’t think he did. Yeah, he said he hadn’t and I believed him, so we sort of learned about each other, you know, helped each other through things. And it turned out it was wonderful, it really was. It was really wonderful because we, yeah, it’s the sort of thing you work at, don’t you. And to climax together! Wow! Wow! Oh yeah, wow! Not always, but sometimes we used to go ‘Wow!’ You know?  

The first time, the first time… I think it took us about three weeks after we were married because he was so afraid of hurting me and I was still a bit, you know…(laughs)  And I can remember it, Bella.  Shall I tell you exactly what happened? We were in bed. We’d had to stay on in a farm that was a relation of my father’s because we had no money.  We had no honeymoon, and I said to him, ‘We can’t mess about like this any more mate.’ I said,  ‘I’ll hold on.’ And it was an iron bedstead, and I held on to the back of the bed,  and I said, ‘Just do it! (Laughs) Just do it!’  Poor chap, he was only 22!   ‘Just do it!’  And that was the first time, all right? I can’t really remember if it was what I thought it’d be … It was just that I was always so scared of it, I suppose, and he was afraid of hurting me. But after that, I mean, as I say, through the years, through the years, yeah. We trusted each other, we did.

I believe I made the right decision in doing it the way I did.  I made this pact with myself.   When I was young most people weren’t virgins until they were married – I knew girls who were ‘doing things’ as we called it.  Doing ‘it’, it was always ‘it’. No, no, no, no. I was probably unique, I don’t know. That hasn’t really changed that much.  It wasn’t talked about, Bella.  Nowadays it’s all in the open, isn’t it.  Well a lot of stuff is more in the open, which maybe is a good thing, I don’t know. No, it was going on, sure it was, ‘cause we all used to meet down the recreation ground (laughs). Pure Pearl used to go home! God, way back in the dark ages, innit?  What was I?  5 in 1930, so I’d be 10 in…I was born in 1925. God, the dark ages, things have changed a lot. A lot. Do you think it’s for the better that things are more in the open? I mean all this stuff with the royalty went on, didn’t it, but you didn’t hear about a lot of it. I mean life’s never been any different really has it?  

What you do in your own home is your own affair, isn’t it? I mean we’ve done all sorts of things. We played strip darts. We had a dart board, I’ve still got it, we had a dart board fixed up there, we used to have an arm chair there and we used to have this dart board fixed up. Who used to be naked? Me, right? He’d be sitting there with just his socks on. (Laughs) We done everything! I threw a lot of stuff out after he’d gone, I thought, God, if anything happens to me and they find all this stuff in there…!  So I threw it out. There were vibrators and underwear, you know.  I mean, what you do in your own house is your own affair, isn’t it.  

I’ll tell you a funny story.  We had, this is when we lived in Suffolk, yeah, and the kids were a bit younger then, and we had this vibrator, I can see it now, it was pink and shaped like a penis right, and we had a wardrobe, a built-in wardrobe and we didn’t have any carpet or flooring in this cupboard, it was just bare boards and this damn thing went off in the night and you could hear this rattling.  And all of a sudden our bedroom door opened and in came, I think it was Brian - poor kids they all had to sleep together in one bed, not one bed, one room. Carol was in a cot and there was Brian and  Martin, and they’d set a curtain up so that Carol couldn’t see,  what she didn’t know about boys as she grew up! - So this damn thing went off, the door opened,  ‘What’s all that noise going on?’  And we made up some excuse, I can’t remember, but I’ll always remember that damn thing going off, and it was pink! 

I think it was the first one we had. It was up to Stephen to get these things, wasn't it.  He’d send away for them, I think. Stuff used to come through in brown paper envelopes. We had a magazine used to come through regularly that he’d ordered and I had to write and tell them not to send it anymore ‘cause it kept coming and I thought, I don’t need that now. I don’t remember what it was called, with all these …you know. 
 
Ann Summers, that’s still going, isn’t it? That was as you went into Bristol I remember. But the first one I ever went into, we went up to London, Stephen and I, and we went in one in Soho and I put dark glasses on because I was going in this flipping shop, whatever. And oh, the mind boggles at what people use to get a …well!  That was the first time I ever went in one. We did all sorts of things but… We had several objects. The funniest bit was a goat’s eye, or something it was called.  It was a round ring with goat’s hairs which fitted on the penis.  It was supposed to titillate the vagina, or the clitoris…(begins to laugh hard) We lost the damn thing! It came off! It came off! He said,  ‘Oh my God, it’s come off!’  And I said, ‘Well it must be in me somewhere!’  I said, ‘You’ll have to poke around and get it out!’ We were killing ourselves! He said,  ‘Oh God, it’s like being up in a cave up here!’ ‘Cause it was after I’d had the kids. Oh God, I’ll always remember that thing.  

We loved each other. It was love, mate. Hark at me calling you mate – Bella. It was love. I mean if you do really love somebody you do trust them, don’t you. Right? I was never sorry that I waited for the right one, because it paid off. That’s why I’m looking so youthful! (laughs)  No, I always say that. I always remember an old film star, Googie Withers?  She was, I think her husband died and she was on, it would have been black and white telly in those days, and she was talking about life and someone said,  ‘How do you manage to keep your youthful looks?’  And she said, ‘I had a good sex life.’  Right?  And I’m sure it has a lot to do with it.  Some of these women that I see who are younger than me and they look a lot older and haggard, you know, it makes you wonder.  

We used to have under floor heating and we had a hatch, the kids remember this, a hatch to the kitchen. Stephen used to put wire stuff around the inside of that and a bolt on the door, the kids used to wonder why we had a bolt on the door, but we used to have sex on this under floor heating. So things were happening.  We had bolts everywhere, everywhere! I don’t think it ever really died I mean, OK, you have a period when you first have babies when you, you know, don’t feel like it sort of thing, but it was always there, didn’t do it so often maybe but it was always there. Right? And I miss it. Well, not the sexual side, but you miss the touch, right? 

Well, it isn’t everything, is it, sex in life, but, you see so many marriages, to my mind, break up because they’re not prepared to work at it.  It’s give and take. OK, you’ve both got faults. We had moments when we had what we called cold wars and who started it?  Me. I knew I was doing it and it went on and then you’d apologise, you know. But it’s just give and take, isn’t it Bella? I mean if you really love someone you overlook… I mean our first year was like that - Who’s going to give way? Who did?  Me, but not really. He always said I was the most crafty woman he ever met. He was boss, but he wasn’t, right? He always used to say you’re the most craftiest woman I ever met. I could get the top brick off the chimney.  All I used to say was, ‘One day…’ He’d say, ‘Oh yeah, what?’ And I’d say … And it would come eventually. Right? When I was 70 I had all these doors replaced white. That was my birthday present. I always wanted white doors in this house and all I said was,  ‘One day…’  ‘Oh yeah, here we go, how much is it going to cost me?’  And I had seven white doors.  He was a star, he was.